Yes, heaven forbid I not be protected from tanks.

I can be quite sarcastic when I'm in the mood.

Ask me no questions, and I'll tell you no fibs.

It would be the last thing he did if he beat my dog.

Aww, did we masturbate through the tears last night?

Sarcasm creates a chasm between yourself and others.

worms have crawled up your nose and eaten your wits.

Charming. We're going to be murdered in our beds.

You might as well laugh at yourself,everyone else is.

He's asleep in the harbor, disguised as dog shit.

Yes. Yes I am. I am a completely demented misogynist.

You're stubborn- anyone ever tell you that before?

Don't believe everything you read on the Internet.

How 'bout a shot of truth in that denial cocktail.

I'm as lucky as a bed of oysters on cioppino night.