Sarcasm is the language of people whose emotions are dying.

Well, someone slap my butt and give me a hero cookie. (Nick)

Knives and candlelight,” he said, “how romantic.

Esa es mi chica, dura cómo una bola de algodón

...Though drowned was just as dead as any other way of dying.

You want a friend in this city? [Washington, DC.] Get a dog!

I have a black belt in sarcasm, and my wit is like lightning.

If your career doesn’t work out, write a book about it.

Dear Karma, I really hate you right now, you made your point.

It’s a good thing that the sheep are all so law abiding

Baptists don’t spend their time thinking about reality.

Hi, I'm Dick," I said."Yeah, I've heard that about you.

Don't read it. Just shred and burn, or your eyes will melt.

Are you always a smartass?'Nope. Sometimes I'm asleep.

Two thousand years and I’ve never met anyone so stubborn.