To stay or to go, it amounted to the same thing.

No people find each other more absurd than lovers

I make love like I make lasagna: with extra meat.

Love is meant to be taken seriously, like a joke.

When all else fails, there's always delusion.

Half the lies they tell about me aren't true.

I always bring a stick of butter to a knife fight.

Manners without sincerity, is called polite society

I just took a little nap. I stole it from an infant.

If warm air rises, Heaven could be hotter than Hell.

It's a beautiful thing, the destruction of words.

You always miss 100% of the shots you don't orde

I need more frugality. I wonder where I can buy some.

You can sit on a brick, and milk a cow with a blanket.

2 minutes in heaven is better than 1 minute in heaven.