It's a match made in heaven...by a retarded angel.

Seeking what is true is not seeking what is desirable.

If the love is not madness, then the sex is not insane

Love is silence multiplied by noise and divided by two.

Job was what you'd technically describe as a loony.

I love Shark Week, where all kids under 12 swim for free

Revenge is a dish best served in something microwaveable

I farted five fingers of happy. It was a hot hello.


When it comes to Schopenhauer, I think I need a To-Go box.

Prediction is very difficult, especially about the future.

I am marvelously absurd in my cloudless thought formation.

A watched pot never boils.... but it does develop paranoia

I have nothing but respect for you -- and not much of that.

Everything is a drive-thru. You just have to aim really fast

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?