My only regret is that I don't have more to regret.

Positive, adj.: Mistaken at the top of one's voice.

La realidad es un crimen, para ocultar uno mucho mayor.

Okay, you won our shitty little argument. Pass the world.

Mysteries force a man to think, and so injure his health.

Life is too short to be complicated by rules, live it big

Quis custodiet ipsos custodes? Who will guard the guards?

Well-lit streets discourage sin, but don't overdo it.

A leprechaun did not just kill off my car in a hailstorm.

They have been eating muffins. That looks like repentance.

A satirist that criticizes religion is seen as a satanist.

Satire is enjoyable compensation for being forced to think.

Libations are for the gods. Cocktails are for mere mortals.

Beneath the skin of everything is something nobody can know.

Marriage is the legal method devised to end love without pain.