Great, tell me when you've defeated Voldemort for me, will you?

Take care of the sense and the sounds will take care of themselves.

You are where your brain is but not where a front-page headline is.

Maybe I could find a book to help me beat my book-buying addiction.

For myself, the only immortality I desire is to invent a new sauce.

Every child needs a father. Even if he turns out to be Darth Vader.

Cut my pie into four pieces, I don’t think I could eat eight.

When some folks agree with my opinions I begin to suspect I m wrong

Only a true best friend can protect you from your immortal enemies.

The sh*t's gonna splatter, start buggin, yo..."Mencheres to Cat

Some people wake up fast. Some people wake up slow. I wake up dead.

The person who writes for fools is always sure of a large audience.

From there to here, from here to there, funny things are everywhere!

WARNING: SUM OF DIS CHAPTA IS XTREMLY SCRAY. VIOWER EXCRETION ADVISD

I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.