Does everyone collectively dislike beetroots? I feel like they do.

Comedy is the art of making people laugh without making them puke.

My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I'm right.

After Puckoon I swore I'd never write another book. This is it

Ack!" I said.Fearless master of the witty dialogue, that's me.

See what I mean? You gotta be crazy. Ain't no time to be sane.

If I owned Texas and Hell, I would rent out Texas and live in Hell

If you're trapped in the dream of the Other, you're fucked.

Cats don't need to be possessed; they're evil on their own.

Would it save you a lot of time if I just gave up and went mad now?

Get there early because hope does not park your mother-fucking car.

The only time my education was interrupted was when I was in school

If there is anyone here whom I have not insulted, I beg his pardon.

I’m such an alcoholic that I go to church just for communion.

All I know about humour is that I don't know anything about it.