Whenever I get that sad, depressed feeling, I go out and kill a policeman.

I'm not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.

You little prick. It's a whelk...it's a...it's a...dead whelk!

Don't worry, the spider is smaller than you.""Yeah... So is a grenade.

I'm a damsel, I'm in distress, I can handle this. Have a nice day!

The great are eternally at the mercy of tiny men. And also, tiny madwomen.

Meet Logan Jackson, smug, self-entitled, proud, arrogant, trust-fund brat.

Father has a fear of flying since that aeroplane crashed into his bedroom.

Apparently, faith in life is one thing and faith in literature is another.

If our destiny stems from our name, then I weep for the flower named Wilt.

In life, more than in anything else, it isn’t easy to end up alive.

I am so clever that sometimes I don t understand a word of what I am saying

That's not a bad word...hate and war are bad words, but fuck isn't.

Perhaps the world s second worst crime is boredom The first is being a bore

The commander went, as they say in Ankh-Morpork, totally Librarian on them.