Despite marking the spot, Generation X has no treasure. How could they, when I dug it up first?

Dialogue between two characters, each of them different forms of karate, might be a bit choppy.

I’ll wear a fork on my head, and if anybody wants a job, they can eat salad off my scalp.

I love the sunrise, but not as much as I love you. Will you pass me my midnight-black blindfold?

I want to drown in all the ink used to write positive things about my clone and how great he is.

My love is colorful, like a rainbow that’s only shades of blue. Monochromatic for monoamor.

If you know how to open doors with just a smile, you must need your teeth capped every six months

I like using scented markers. Especially when I’m trying to color the inside of my nostrils.

If you see the light at the end of the tunnel, you’re lookingthrough binoculars the wrongway

When I smell small, my nose gets clogged up. Think what would happen if I whiffed medium or large.

I was nervous. Like an ice cube, I just froze up. Then I melted in some strange guy’s drink.

My love for you would blot out the sun like a cloud made out of yogurt. I hope you brought a spoon.

To maximize love, I try to emulate an omelet. And I’m not just saying that to sound romantic.

In a toast, I’ll raise my glass like I’d raise a child—through orphanages.


There's always someone we'd love to kill, the trick is to make it not look like an accident