One of my mom’s rules growing up was never to write on walls, well apparently Facebook doesn’t have that rule.

My parents told me: “You’ve got to stop watching so much TV, and read more!” so I turned on the subtitles.

I wish I could google “things to eat in my “fridge” so I wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed.

Men are like BLUETOOTH connection, when UR beside them they stay connected but when you are away they search for new devices.

Good friends will bail you out of jail. Best friends will be sitting in the cell with you, laughing about how awesome that just was.

It’s funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged. It’s like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered.

I want you to have a candle-lit dinner and say those magical three words to you ………… “Pay The bill”

If bar tenders aren’t allowed to sell alcohol to drunk people, then McDonald’s shouldn’t be allowed to sell food to fat people.

Next time someone presses the elevator button you’ve already pressed, act totally impressed and tell them they did it waaaay better than you..

thinks that facebook should change the status question from “what’s on your mind?” to “what’s your problem today?”

It’s raining, It’s pouring. Facebook is boring. I’m bored to death, I’m going to bed, hopefully we’ll meet in the morning!

Why do U think I SMS You? Is it because I care? Or I miss You? Or I love You? Or I need You? No ! It’s because I need a person for just time pass.

Beauty isn’t measured by outer appearance and what clothes we wear, but what we are inside ..So, try going out naked tomorrow and see the admiration!

Women are like boats: they require constant maintenance and attention, and they cost a lot of money. Men are like buses: another one will eventually come along.

I’m the kind of person who bumps into inanimate objects, says, Oops, I’m sorry. And doesn’t stop to ask himself why he’s talking to a wall.