The greatest thing about Facebook, is that you can quote something and totally make up the source

I changed all my passwords to ‘incorrect’. So my computer just tells me when I forget.

The greatest thing about Facebook, is that you can quote something and totally make up the source.

Facebook should have a “I don’t know you” as an option to ignore a friend request.

Facebook…… Half Social Network….. Half Shoe Store! Didnt Know I Was At The Mall.

My internet went down yesterday. I think my neighbor forgot to pay the bill. How irresponsible…

I wouldn’t need Facebook if there was a website that just told me whether or not my exes got fat.

I wouldn’t need Facebook if there was a website that just told me whether or not my exes got fat.

Congratulations!! You are the 100th person to view my status. To see your prize please click Control + W.

Congratulations!! You are the 100th person to view my status. To see your prize please click Control + W.

Boy: hey dad I got a girlfriend Dad: Good job son! Girl: Hey daddy I got a boyfriend Dad: *loads shotgun*

Don’t cry for a guy, let a guy cry for you. Because girls give and forgive, but guys get and forget.

I bet that in prison everyone’s FB relationship status is set to “it’s complicated”.

Twitter makes me like people I’ve never met and because of Facebook I hate people I know in real life.

A man asked a fairy to make him desirable & irresistible to all women. She turned him into a credit card.