Love me? Great. Hate me? Even better. Think I’m ugly? Don’t look at me. Don’t know me? Don’t judge me. Think you know me? You have no idea.

Dear Warner Bros: Now that I’m an adult, I feel I’m am old enough to hear what the “Beep Beep” is hiding when Road Runner talks to Wile E. Coyote.

You know you’re broke when: 1. the Dollar Store is too expensive. 2. You literally don’t have two-cents to rub together. 3. You play Farmville for a vacation.

I hate weddings. old people would poke me saying “You’re next”. They stopped when I started going up to them at funerals and poking them, saying, “You’re next”.

Relationship Status:”Single” “Married” “Divorced” “Complicated”…. Hey Facebook, can we get an option that says “Fuck Relationships”?

Welcome to Facebook! Where liars tell more lies, enemies are Facebook friends, weak people turn into Facebook gangsters, haters complain about haters and every person who talks about money ain’t got none.

Scratch here – ¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦ to reveal today’s status?