They can afford to smile because they all have teeth so dazzling if they dropped them in the snow they'd be lost forever.

I don't get why prom is like a mini-wedding these days...No one should spend that kind of money for a high school dance.

One should never give up on hope. Unless that's the name of the girl who cheated on you in which case, yeah, give her up.

And the challenge in the next round would be determined by the winner of this test. "Like, what, the DOM-matrix?" ~Tara Reese

I got hard and he was there and the next thing I knew he was on his knees. I mean, I was going to step away, but he licked me.

When I need some striking inspiration about deep depression for my new painting, I just need to go to check my bank account...

Oh, you know what bloggers are like, they write and write and write. I don't know why, because they're not being paid.

I should think this a gull, but that the white-bearded fellow speaks it; knavery cannot, sure, hide himself in such reverence.

He thought moving to a small town would allow him to find a way to get along to some extent but people were just plain idiots.

A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush, unless it is the burning bush, in that case the value of your bird just went up!!

When someone says "just saying" what they really mean is, "You would be a colossal idiot to not take my advice." (on Facebook)

I was out of salt so I threw pepper over my left shoulder for luck and the poor guy behind me almost sneezed himself to death.

Trust me. You’re a constant riddle with an ever-changing solution." ~ FBI Special Agent Clive Poole to Maggie Mae Castro

Germans at the time believed, a little oddly, that dyes killed germs by turning the germs’ vital organs the wrong color.

I have always pictured accupuncture like falling into a box of sewing needles, and then standing up refreshed and free of pain.