If men had to have babies there wouldn’t be any sex life left.

The closest I ever came to a near death experience was living in LA.

If you always do what interests you, at least one person is pleased".

My dog hasn't said a word all day, he must have a lot on his mind

You can't oversleep if you don't make plans to wake up early.

You didn't happen to install Windows when you upgraded me, did you?

The fifth sense is "common sense"- either you have it or you don't.

Lending books to other people is merely a shrewd form of housecleaning.

At the best of times, Father Bain's face resembled a clenched fist.

Mad Rogan: "Resistance is futile."Nevada: "You are not assimilating me!

Are you on crack? Or did I take a righteous bong hit before coming here?

Engineer is the one who thinks Dark Fantasy is a condom and not a biscuit

The real point of watching television is to forget that you have a brain.

Wisdom of the Ages: "Friendship" The only ship that can weather any storm.

They want your sons.”“My–? But I don’t… ew!