My patience has dreadful chilblains from standing so long on a monument.

I use Trigonometry a lot during beach vacations: Sin Tan Cos I love them

You know that old saying. Once you go dead, no one's better in bed.

Where death gives you a sense of humour, life gives you a sense of love.

We all pay for life with death, so everything in between should be free.

That's chess!" snapped Ron. "You've got to make some sacrifices!

And by golly, love sure was a battlefield. Benatar was right about that.

Why couldn't you turn into a fireball when we were on the same team!

Get your facts first and then you can distort them as much as you please

I felt like one of Apollo's sacred cows- slow, dumb, and bright red.

Writing is the flip side of sex - it's only good when it's over.

Shoes off in the whale! And don't try and make a break for the anus.

The secret to enjoying your job is to have a hobby that's even worse

All the best pubs are built on a hill, so you can slope in and roll out.

That's ridiculous." Especially the part about Christian being manly.