A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he's finished.

Roger, he has a chain saw," I hissed. "I am not going to die in Kentucky!

I like pink."Lucius sniffed. "It's just red's sorry, weak cousin.

Roses are red violets are blue, God made me pretty, what happened to you?

I'll leave you two alone. Morality might be contagious.-Captain Tagon

My poetic aspirationIs to become,A Jack of all stylesAnd a master of pun.

Rich children are always blond, Jocelyn goes. It has to do with vitamins.

The trouble is you can shut your eyes but you can’t shut your mind.

I'll try anything once, twice if I like it, three times to make sure.

Culture is the ability to describe Jane Russell without moving your hands

I can't believe she's lived this long. God must be avoiding her.

Your king is SUPPOSED to explode? What kind of government system is that?

You're such a pain in the ass. (Butch) Said the SIG to the Glock. (V)

I want a 100% kind of relationship, and I’m willing to give it 50%.

An alcoholic is someone you don't like, who drinks as much as you do.