You’re the reason I get up in the morning.That, and I need to pee.

I love Huey Lewis, but not the News, because the News is too depressing.

Say 'provoking' again. Your mouth looks provocative when you do.

To be is to do - SocratesTo do is to be - SartreDo Be Do Be Do - Sinatra

Humor is laughing at what you haven't got when you ought to have it.

Fat people are funny … until obesity pays your loved one a visit.

You're everything I ever wished for.I just didn't wish for much.

Humor is a social lubricant that helps us get over some of the bad spots

There is no sunrise so beautiful that it is worth waking me up to see it.

Well you seemed too busy to call him a prat and I thought someone should.

Hearing nuns' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.

The worst part of success is trying to find someone who is happy for you.

Rendelt ideje van a hülyék megrázásának.

You know that look that women get when they want to have sex? Me neither.

We all long for something. Midgets long to be long, but I long to belong.