Please GOD if you can’t make me slim, make my friends fat.

The awkward moment when you know you shouldn`t laugh, but you do..

Growing older is compulsory Growing up, however, remains optional.

I don’t get it, all my life I was told NOT to write on walls.

Dear MATH, stop asking to find your X, she’s not coming back.

Some people are such treasures that you really just wanna bury them.

I’m not 40, I’m eighteen with 22 years experience…

Opportunity knocks for every man, but you have to give a woman a ring.

The only difference between me and a madman is that I’m not mad.

I posted on your wall. No, not Facebook, look at the side of your house.

When I was born I was so surprised, I didnt talk for a year and a half..

If money grew on trees – girls wouldn’t mind dating monkeys.

One should always be in love. That is the reason one should never marry.

Quit your job, buy a ticket, get a train, fall in love and never return.

Its better to fail than to cheat but its better to cheat than to repeat.