Practice safe lunch. Use a condiment!

I used to be pro-life until i met you.

Life is too short to date a douchebag.

If Monday had a face, I would punch it.

Welcome to nobody cares. Population: Me

It is called Facebook, not ProblemBook.

Music is my drug, YouTube is my dealer.

CLASS = Come Late And Start Socializing.

Single,Taken,?Waiting for Justin Bieber.

I don’t make mistakes, I date them.

The cat is above all things, a dramatist.

I need a six month holiday, twice a year.

I miss you like an idiot misses the point.

Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.

I didn’t fall, I attacked the floor.