Santa: My wife was really sick this morning Banta: How sick? Santa: So sick that I had to carry her to the kitchen to make my breakfast

Santa: My wife can multi-task Banta: Really? Santa: Yeah she can take a phone call tidy her hair and crash her car all at the same time

Banta: I read an article the other day that said `If you drink everyday you are an alcoholic` Santa: Thank God I only drink every night

Santa: I would have been a very successful man but for Newton? Banta: How s Newton responsible for it? Santa: Gravity always gets me down

Santa met with an accident Paramedic: Are you hurt? Give me your name so we can tell your family Santa: My family already knows my name

Santa and Banta in a discussion Santa: If I drink coffee I can t sleep Banta: With me it`s the opposite If I sleep I can`t drink coffee

Jeeto sent Santa for shopping She told him to get something that will make her look sexy He came back with 2 bottles of vodka for himself

Banta: Why is it that almost all serial killers are men Santa: That s simply because women like to kill only one man slowly and steadily

Jeeto: I wish I was a newspaper so I d be in ur hands all day Santa: I too wish that U were a newspaper so I cud have a new one everyday

Santa was riding on a horse He jumped the red light a cop whistles Santa lifts the tail of the horse says `You can note down the number`

Santa: I want to marry a smart rich and beautiful woman Banta: What s stopping you? Santa: But I don t feel like getting married 3 times

Santa: I went to a bookstore and asked the sales woman Where s the self-help section? She said if she told me it would defeat the purpose

Banta to Santa after he returned from a business tour: Does your wife miss you much? Santa: No She throws remarkably straight for a woman

Santa: This is getting really irritating Banta: What happened? Santa: This is the 10th ATM that I ve been to that has insufficient funds

Man in lake: Help Help I can t swim Drunk Santa on the park bench: So what? Even I can t play the harmonium but I m not shouting about it