Santa was caught for speeding and went before the judge The judge: What ll you take 30 days or Rs 3000 Santa: I think I ll take the money

Santa: I tried cooking supper with wine tonight Banta: How was it? Didn t go so well After 5 glasses I forgot why I was even in the kitchen

Santa: I ve finally found the true meaning of Xmas Banta: And what is it? Santa: It s for people who can t spell Christmas Merry Christmas

Santa: This mutton is under-cooked Jeeto: You don t appreciate my cooking Santa: I think the Vet could save it if it we took it right away

Santa: A friend of mine just got divorced He and his ex-wife split the house Banta: So sad Which part did he get? Santa: He got the outside

Jeeto: I didn t know you smoked When did you start? Preeto: That night my husband came home early and found a cigarette butt in the ash tray

Jeeto Preeto were talking about their new milkman Jeeto: He s very good looking punctual dresses so smartly And so quickly too said Preeto

Santa: May I have some stationery? Hotel Receptionist (haughtily): Are you a guest of the house? Santa: Hell no I am paying 3000 Rupees a day

Santa: What s the matter today you re getting a lot of I love you messages Banta: Bhaji I am not that lucky Today I brought my wife s mobile

Jeeto: What do you like most in me my pretty face or my body? Santa after looking at her from head to toe replied I like your sense of humou

Santa goes to a petrol pump sees a board Don t use Mobile here he picks his Mobile phone calls everyone from his phone says DON T CALL ME NOW

Santa at an Art Gallery: I suppose this horrible looking thing is what you call Modern art? Art dealer: I beg your pardon sir that s a mirro

Once Professor Santa asked a plumber to come to his college You know why? Because he wanted to check from where the question paper is leaking

Santa walks into a library says Can I have a burger and coke? Librarian I m sorry this is a library Santa whispers Can I have a burger fries?

Santa went to a restaurant with his family He ordered food Ate it Paid and went back home No jokes It s MARCH closing Be serious