If you haven t got anything nice to say about anybody come sit next to me

Boss is someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early

What this country needs is fewer people telling us what this country needs

April 1st is the day that we re reminded of what we are the other 364 days

If you re too lazy to start anything you may get a reputation for patience

It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious

Don t throw cigarette buds on the ground the cockroaches are getting cance

I earn a seven-figure salary Unfortunately there s a decimal point involved

If a kid refuses to sleep during nap time is he guilty of resisting a rest?

If man evolved from monkeys and apes why do we still have monkeys and apes?

Etc is a sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do

A perfectionist is one who takes great pains and gives them to everyone else

Whoever said money doesn t buy happiness obviously didn t know where to shop

If you can t dazzle them with your brilliance baffle them with your bullshit

You re middle-aged if the girls you whistle at think you re calling your dog