Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life

Nutrients aren t that bad so long as they are covered in chocolate

I relish the fact that you ve Mustard the strength to Ketchup to me

Alcohol is the cause of problems to some; and the solution to others

Why do people order double cheeseburgers large fries and a diet Coke

A beautiful dress is useless unless it inspires someone to take it off

I m on a seafood diet Every time I see food I eat it - Richard Ledere

Ham and eggs A day`s work for a chicken a lifetime commitment for a pig

You know you re drunk when you feel sophisticated but can t pronounce it

I went to a general store They wouldn t let me buy anything specifically

Alcohol: Because no great story ever started with someone eating a salad

If it weren t for alcohol how would you know as to when to call your exes

Bacon and Eggs: A day s work for a chicken a lifetime commitment for a pig

If you re not supposed to drink and drive then why do bars have parking lots?

The hardness of the butter is directly proportional to the softness of the bread