Banta was in his usual place in the morning sitting at the table reading the paper after breakfast He came across an article about a beautiful actress that was about to marry a football player who was known primarily for his lack of IQ and common knowledge Banta turned to his wife with a look of question on his face I`ll never understand why the biggest jerks get the most attractive wives His wife replies Why thank you dea
A newcomer to the political scene was campaigning in the backwoods for the Loksabha elections Outside a ramshackle house he saw Banta milking a cow He approached him ready to make his pitch for a vote Just as he was getting started Santa called from inside the house Oye Banteya get in the house And who is that guy you are talking to? Says he is a politician Banta said In that case you do better bring the cow inside with you
Santa goes to a proctologist to complain about a rectal disorder The doctor examines him tells him he needs an enema gives him the necessary medication for the enema and asks him to come back the following week for a checkup Upon returning the next week Santa complains that the medication did nothing for him Did you use the medication properly? asks the doctor Of course I did Doc Jeez what do you think I shoved it up my ass?
Santa and Banta sitting in the bar at Raja Sansi Airport Amritsar I ve come to meet my brother said the Santa He s due to fly in from Canada in an hour s time It s his first trip home in forty years Will you be able to recognize him? asked the Banta I m sure I won t said Santa after all he s been away for a long time I wonder if he ll recognize you? said the Banta Of course he will said Santa Sure I haven t been away at all
Banta walked through the forest when he heard a cry for help He found a dwarf stuck in a trap He freed the dwarf and the dwarf granted him two wishes My first wish Banta said is a bottle of whiskey that will never be empty And flash there was the bottle Banta opened it and drank it empty The next moment the bottle was full again Banta was very happy What is your second wish the dwarf asked? Banta replied I want another bottle
Santa and Banta decide to go picnicking one day When they get there they realize they`ve forgotten the whisky Banta says he go and get it if he promises not to eat the chicken till he gets back Now Santa waits and waits till a whole day goes by when Santa says to himself: Come on I`m hungry He is not going to come back so let me eat the chicken anyway Suddenly Banta pops up from behind a tree and says: If you do that I won`t go
Santa returns from London He calls his wife and asks her Do I look like a foreigner? She says no The answer angers him Look carefully do I look like a foreigner? She again replies in the negative By now the Santa is fuming He yells: Come close and see do I look like a foreigner? The wife says: No The Santa who is seething with rage says: All those women in London were fools Every time I went out they would say: `Look a foreigner`
Santa applied for the job of night security guard at the factory The boss looked him over carefully The sort of person we need for this job said the boss finally is tough fearless aggressive suspicious distrustful always on the lookout for trouble and constantly ready to flare into violence Quite frankly you don t seem to fit the bill Oh that is all right explained Santa I HAVE ONLY COME TO APPLY FOR THE JOB ON BEHALF OF MY WIFE
Santa s father comes home from his doctor and though usually quite active with his grand-children seems to make every effort to avoid them this day Santa notices his dad avoiding the kids and asks him why this is so Immediately the old man whisks his medicine prescription out of his pocket and hands it to Santa His father said Read that label That s why Santa takes the bottle and reads Take two pills a day KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN
Santa returns from London He calls his wife and asks her Do I look like a foreigner? She says no The answer angers him Look carefully do I look like a foreigner? She again replies in the negative By now the Santa is fuming He yells: Come close and see do I look like a foreigner? The wife says: No The Santa who is seething with rage says: All those women in London were fools Every time I went out they would say: `Look a foreigner`
Our Banta is in police department He is on scene at a terrible accident - body parts everywhere He is making his notes of where the pieces are and comes across a head He writes in his notebook: Head on bullevard and scratchs out his spelling error Head on bouelevard Nope doesn`t look right - scratch scratch Head on boolevard dang it Scratch scratch He looks around and sees that no one is looking at him as he kicks the head Head on cu
An old blacksmith relized he was soon going to quit working so hard So he picked out Santa to become his apprentice The old fellow was crabby and exacting Don`t ask me a lot of questions he told Santa Just do whatever I tell you to do One day the old blacksmith took an iron out of the forge and laid it on the anvil Get the hammer over there he said When I nod my head hit it real good and hard Now the town is looking for a new blacksmith
Santa used to work in a saw-mill He was in hospital after he lost his arm in an accident Banta was visiting him in the hospital Banta It was really bad that you lost your hand However thank God that it was your left hand since you are right handed Santa It is also because of my quick thinking Actually it was the right hand which was going to be caught in the machine Then I realised that I am right handed and so switched hands just in time
An auto mechanic received a repair order from Banta that read: Check for clunking sound when going around corners Taking the car out for a test drive mechanic made a right turn and a moment later he heard a clunk He then made a left turn and again heard a clunk Back at the shop he opened the car`s trunk and soon discovered the problem Promptly he returned the repair order to the service manager with this notation: Remove bowling ball from trunk
Banta was driving down the street looking for a place to stop so he could go to the bathroom He stopped at a bar and went inside Bartender Where is the bathroom I really need to go? he asked The bartender pointed him to the bathroom So Banta went to the bathroom and looked over to the side There was no toilet paper Oh no He looked over again and saw a sign that said: If out of toilet paper use your thumb and ask the bartender for a thumb wipe
