Brahma: System installer Vishnu: System operator Shiva: System programmer Narad: Data Transmitter Yama: Deleter Apsara Rambha: Virus Ganapati: Anti virus Hanuman: E-Mail Chitragupta: Hard Disc Saraswati: Internet explorer Parvati: Mother Board Lakshmi: ATM
There was once a young man who in his youth professed his desire become a great writer When asked to define great he said I want to write stuff that the whole world will read stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level stuff that will make them scream cry howl in pain and anger He now works for Microsoft writing error messages
Thou shalt include a clear and specific subject line Thou shalt edit any quoted text down to the minimum thou needs Thou shalt read thine own message thrice before thou sends it Thou shalt ponder how thy recipient might react to thy message Thou shalt check thy spelling and thy grammar Thou shalt not curse flame Spam or USE ALL CAPS Thou shalt not forward any chain letter Thou shalt not use e-mail for any illegal or unethical purpose Thou shalt not rely on the privacy of e-mail especially from work When in doubt save thy message overnight and reread it in the light of the dawn And Here`s the Golden Rule of E-Mail: That which thou findest hateful to receive sendest thou not unto others
This is the transcript of the ACTUAL radio conversation of a US naval ship with Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October 1995
There was once a young man who in his youth professed his desire to become a great writer When asked to define great he said I want to write stuff that the whole world will read stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level stuff that will make them scream cry howl in pain and anger He now writes error messages for Microsoft Corporation
Notice on entry gate of a Apple Store: Don t ever fart here; the smell will stay for ages We don t have Windows And a Tit for Tat from Microsoft in their premises Anyone visiting us here can be free to use Windows in case you need to release stale gas from yesterday s half eaten apple We have been providing open window system to the world since ages
A Help desk guy speaking to a lady user Help desk: Double click on My Computer Lady: I can t see your computer Help desk: No click on My Computer on your computer Lady: How the hell can I click on ur computer from my computer??? Help desk: there is an icon labelled My Computer on your computer double click on it Lady: What the hell is your computer doing on my computer ??
Help-desk guy speaking to a lady user Help-desk : Double click on My Computer Lady : I can t see your computer Help-desk : No Click on My Computer on your computer Lady : How the hell can I click on your computer from my computer ??? Help-desk : There is an icon labelled My Computer on your computer double click on it Lady : What the hell is your computer doing on my computer ?
My friend Nancy and I decided to introduce her elderly mother to the magic of the Internet Our first move was to access Google and we told her it could answer any question she had Nancy s mother was very skeptical until Nancy said It s true Mom Think of something to ask it As I sat with fingers poised over the keyboard Nancy s mother thought a minute then responded How is Aunt Helen feeling?
A mechanical electrical and computer engineer were riding together to an engineering seminar when the car suddenly began jerking and shuttering The mechanical engineer said I think the car has a faulty carburetor The electrical engineer said No I think the problem lies with the alternator The computer engineer brightened up and said I know let`s stop the car all get out of the car and get back in again
There was a large group of frinds on Whatsapp There were around 40 to 50 pepole in that group Conversation: Member A: Happy Birthday Tina Other members: 1 Happy b dy Tina 2 Happy Birthdy tina 3 Many many happy return of the day Tina 4 Jamandin Mubarak Ho Tina 5 Party Kab Raho Ho Yaar Tina? 6 Happy Birthday Tina 7 Happy Bday Jamandin Mubarak Ho Yaar Member A: SORRY SENT BY MISTAKE TINA IS IN OTHER GROUP
Technically there are 7 TYPES OF LADIES: 1 HARD DISK lady: Remembers everything forever 2 RAM lady: Forgets about you the moment you turn off 3 SCREENSAVER lady: Just for looking 4 INTERNET lady: Difficult to access 5 SERVER lady: Always busy when needed 6 MULTIMEDIA lady: Looks beautiful but you can only look 7 VIRUS lady: This type of lady is normally called WIFE once enters your system never leaves even if the system is formatted
A programmer had been missing from work for over a week when finally someone noticed and called the cops They went round to his flat and broke the door down They found him dead in the still running shower with an empty bottle of shampoo next to his body What had happened? Was foul play involved? The mystery was finally solved when one of his fellow programmers read the instructions on the shampoo bottle: Wet hair Apply shampoo Lather Rinse Repeat
What does a baby computer call his father? Data What is a computer`s first sign of old age? Loss of memory What happened when the computer fell on the floor? It slipped a disk Why was there a bug in the computer? It was looking for a byte to eat What is a computer virus? A terminal illness To err is human; but to really mess things up requires a computer Computers make very fast very accurate mistakes The attention span of a computer is as long as its electrical cord
What does a baby computer call his father? Data What is a computer`s first sign of old age? Loss of memory What happened when the computer fell on the floor? It slipped a disk Why was there a bug in the computer? It was looking for a byte to eat What is a computer virus? A terminal illness To err is human; but to really mess things up requires a computer Computers make very fast very accurate mistakes The attention span of a computer is as long as its electrical cord
