Rahul Gandhi called up Domino s and shouted at the branch manager: You idiot I just received delivery of pizza from your boy and there s nothing on it No cheese no toppings nothing - it s just a circle of plain bread What the hell is wrong with you guys? I am gonna close you guys down permanently and get you personally arrested 10 mins later Soniaji calls back to Dominos and apologises to the manager: Sorry he opened the box upside down

After having resigned as the CM of Bihar Laloo decides to go modelling On one occasion he enters a herd of buffaloes and resting his elbows on the back of the cattle he poses for the photo Next day the photo appears on the front page of a newspaper Guess the caption Laloo third from left

An American and A Russian were arguing about the virtues of communism and democracy Come on man said the American In a democracy you get to express your views You have freedom You know I can anyday call President Bush an idiot What s so great about that said the unimpressed Russian so can I

Beta which standard are you in? -SIX And how far is your school? - At a distance of 10 SIXES from home Okay tell me how much is a dozen? - 2 SIXES How many months are in a year? - 2 SIXES How many days are in a month? - 5 SIXES Umm ok I wanna talk to your father can you give me his no? - SIX SIX SIX SIX SIX SIX SIX SIX SIX SIX

Once Ronald Reagan met Indira Gandhi She talks about Zail Singh s incompetence in English Reagan boasts that he can teach Zail in 12 hours and he will be perfect in English after that So Zail Singh and Reagan are locked in a room After only 6 hours the door opens and there comes Reagan saying Ae nahin seekh sagda (He can t learn )

The president got off the helicopter in front of the White House with a baby hog under each arm The Marine guard snapped to attention saluted and said Nice pigs sir The president replied These are not pigs these are authentic Arkansas Razorback hogs I got one for Hillary and I got one for Chelsea The Marine again snapped to attention saluted and replied Nice trade si

Bill Gates: So how s heaven Steve? Steve Jobs: Great it just doesn t have any walls or fences Bill Gates: So ? Steve Jobs: So we don t need any Windows and Gates I m sorry Bill I didn t mean to offend you Bill Gates: It s ok Steve but I heard a rumor Steve Jobs: Oh what rumor? Bill Gates: That nobody is allowed to touch Apple there and there are no Jobs in heaven Steve Jobs: Oh no definitely there are but only no-pay jobs Therefore definitely no Bills in heaven as everything will be provided free

A local FM Radio was running a contest and I phoned up The RJ said Congratulations on being our first caller all you have to do is answer the following question correctly to win our grand prize That s fantastic I shouted in delight Feel confident? she asked It s a maths question Well I ve got a Masters in maths and have been teaching for 35+ years I proudly replied Ok then to win our grand prize of 2 front row seats to a Himesh Reshamiyas new movie and to meet him back stage: What is 2+2? I replied 7

Mom: Happy birthday Suarez Suarez: Thanks mom Mom: Cake kaato beta Suarez: Ok mom Mom: Arrey beta chakku se Had Luis Suarez been an engineering student which Indian college was he likely to be found in? BITS Pilani Suarez ke Talent Ki Daant Deni Hogi Generally In Other Sports We Have a Nail-Biting Finish Soccer is Different If Suarez was from Bihar what would his mother call him ? Bitwa Luis Suarez ka favorite application? BitTorrent And Last And Best One: Suarez to girl: Do you believe in love at first bite?

Al Gore and the Clintons are flying on Air Force One Bill looks at Al chuckles and says You know I could throw a 10 000 bill out the window right now and make one person very happy Al shrugs his stiff shoulders and says Well I could throw ten 1 000 bills out the window and make 10 people very happy Hillary tosses her perfectly sprayed hair and says Of course then I could throw one-hundred 100 bills out the window and make a hundred people very happy Chelsea rolls her eyes looks at all of them and says I could throw all of you out the window and make the whole country happy

When he reached the pearly gates and knocked St Peter asked Who is it? Clinton said It`s me Bill Clinton Peter asked Have you done anything wrong that I should know about? Clinton said I smoked pot once but you can`t hold it against me because I did not inhale I was unfaithful to my wife but you cannot hold it against me because I didn`t have sex I lied but you can`t hold it against me because I didn`t commit perjury Peter said Well we are going to send you to a place but we`re not going to call it Hell You are going to stay there for a while but we are not going to call it eternity

George W Bush wanted a special postage stamp issued with his picture on it He so instructed his Postmaster General stressing that it should be of international quality The stamps were duly released of the stamp he began hearing complaints that the stamps were not sticking properly and become furious He called the chief of the Secret Service and ordered him to investigate the matter The chief checked the matter out at several post offices and then reported on the problem to Bush He said Sir the stamp is really of international quality The problem is our citizens are spitting on the wrong side

During a publicity outing Hillary sneaked off to visit a fortune-teller of some local repute In a dark and hazy room peering into a crystal ball the mystic delivered grave news There`s no easy way to say this so I`ll just be blunt: Prepare yourself to be a widow Your husband will die a violent and horrible death this year Visibly shaken Hillary stared at the woman`s lined face then at the single flickering candle then down at her hands She took a few deep breaths to compose herself She simply had to know She met the fortuneteller`s gaze steadied her voice and asked her question Will I be acquitted?

A tea party in honour of freedom fighters was in progress at Giani Zail Singh’s house Two other former Presidents Neelam Sanjiva Reddy and R Venkataraman were also present Suddenly a group of terrorists took over the party They lined up all the three former Presidents for execution As the firing squad got ready Sanjiva Reddy yelled Earthquake and escaped in a commotion that followed The executioners got ready again and as they took aim Venkataraman shouted Flood and he too escaped in the confusion As the firing squad lined for the third time Zail Singh decided to try the same idea and yelled Fire

The story is told of a day when Queen Elizabeth had the Duke Of Edenbourgh over for a cup of tea The conversation turned equestrian and the Queen was telling the Duke about her new prize horse After a spell of ranting and raving over this horse the Duke said Well then let s see this fine animal So the Queen and the Duke went over to the stables to admire the horse At one point the Queen walked around the horse just as it let out an earth trembling belch with a smell that The Queen turned a bit red and said Oh I am terribly sorry about that Oh that s quite alright the Duke replied I had thought it was the horse