A group of people decide to prove that blondes are not really dumb For this reason they gather 80 000 natural blondes at Wembley stadium A guy who`s hosting the show randomly picks out one blonde and asks her to come down to the center They are standing at the microphone as he asks her: What`s two times two? Five answers the blonde and smiles The guy shakes his head but the whole stadium shouts Give her another chance give her another chance Then the guy asks her What`s three times three? Eight answers the blonde proudly The guy is about to let her return to her seat but the whole stadium starts to shout again Give her another chance give her another chance So the guy asks her one more question What`s four times four? Sixteen answers the blonde shyly Before the guy expresses his reaction the whole stadium starts to shout Give her one more chance give her one more chance

A blonde went to a flight school insisting she wanted to learn to fly As all the planes were currently in use the owner agreed to instruct her by radio on how to pilot the solo helicopter He took her out showed her how to start it and gave her the basics and sent her on her way After she climbed 1000 feet she radioed in I m doing great I love it The view is so beautiful and I m starting to get the hang of this After 2000 feet she radioed again saying how easy it was to fly The instructor watched her climb over 3000 feet and was beginning to worry that she hadn t radioed in A few minutes later he watched in horror as she crashed about half a mile away He ran over and pulled her from the wreckage When he asked what happened she said I don t know Everything was going fine but as I got higher I was starting to get cold I can barely remember anything after I turned off the big fan

A blind man wanders into an all girls biker bar by mistake He finds his way to a bar stool and orders some coffee After sitting there for awhile he yells to the server Hey you want to hear a blond joke? The bar immediately falls absolutely silent In a very deep husky voice the woman next to him says Before you tell that joke sir I think it is only fair -- given that you re blind -- that you should know five things: 1 The bartender is a blond girl with a baseball bat 2 The bouncer is a blond girl 3 I m a 6 foot tall 175 lb blond woman with a black belt in karate 4 The woman sitting next to me is blond and a professional weightlifter 5 The lady to your right is blond and a professional wrestler Now think about it seriously Mister Do you still want to tell that joke? The blind man thinks for a second shakes his head and mutters No Not if I m gonna have to explain it five times

A blonde went to a Flying School insisting she wanted to learn to fly that day As all the planes were currently in use the owner agreed to instruct her on how to pilot a helicopter solo by radio He took her out showed her how to start it and gave her the basics and sent her on her way After she climbed 1 000 feet she radioed in I`m doing great I love it The view is so beautiful and I`m starting to get the hang of this After 2 000 feet she radioed again saying how easy it was becoming to fly The instructor watched her climb over 3 000 feet and was beginning to worry when she hadn`t radioed in A few minutes later he watched in horror as she crashed about half a mile away He drove over and pulled her from the wreckage When he asked what happened she said I don`t know Everything was going fine but as I got higher I was starting to get cold I can`t remember anything after I turned off the big fan

A blonde wanting to earn some money decided to hire herself out as a handywoman and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do Well you can paint my porch How much will you charge? The blonde said How about 50 dollars? The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage  The man s wife inside the house heard the conversation and said to her husband Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house? The man replied She should She was standing on the porch A short time later the blonde came to the door to collect her money You re finished already? he asked Yes the blonde answered and I had paint left over so I gave it two coats Impressed the man reached in his pocket for the 50 And by the way the blonde added that s not a Porch it s a Ferrari

Sally goes to work one morning crying her eyes out Her boss concerned his employee walks over to her and asks sympathetically What s the matter? The blonde replies Early this morning I got a phone call that my mother had passed away The boss feeling very sorry at this point suggests to the young girl Why don t you go home for the day we aren t terribly busy Just take the day off and go relax Sally very calmly states No I d be better off here I need to keep my mind busy and I have the best chance of doing that here The boss agrees and allows her to work as usual If you need anything just let me know says the boss A few hours pass and the boss decides to check on Sally He looks out his office and sees her crying hysterically He rushes over an asks What s the matter now? Are you going to be ok? Sally breaks down in tears I just received a horrible call from my sister She said that her mom died too

A blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out Her boss concerned about his employee s well being asks sympathetically What s the matter? The blonde replies Early this morning I got a phone call saying that my mother had passed away I m terribly sorry to hear that Why don t you go home for the day we aren t terribly busy Just take the day off to relax and rest The blonde very calmly explains No I d be better off here I need to keep my mind off it and I have the best chance of doing that here The boss agrees and allows the blonde to work as usual If you need anything just let me know he says A few hours pass and the boss decides to check on the blonde He looks out over his office and sees the blonde crying hysterically He rushes out to her and asks Are you going to be okay? Is there anything I can do to help? No replies the blonde I just got a call from my sister and she said that HER mom died too

A brunette a redhead and a blonde all work in the same office with the same female boss Every day they noticed the boss left work early One day the girls decided that when the boss left they d leave right behind her After all she never called or came back so how was she to know? The brunette was thrilled to be home early She did a little gardening and went to bed early The redhead was elated to be able to get in a quick workout at her spa before meeting a dinner date The blonde was happy happy happy to be home but when she got to her bedroom she heard a muffled noise from inside Slowly quietly she cracked open the door and was mortified to see her husband in bed with HER BOSS Ever so gently she closed the door and crept out of her house The next day during their coffee break the brunette and redhead mentioned leaving early again and asked the blonde if she was with them NO WAY she exclaimed I almost got caught yesterday

A blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out Her boss concerned about all his employees well being asked sympathetically What`s the matter? To which the blonde replies Early this morning I got a phone call saying that my mother had passed away The boss feeling very sorry at this point explains to the young girl Why don`t you go home for the day we aren`t terribly busy Just take the day off to relax and rest The blonde very calmly states No I`d be better off here I need to keep my mind off it and I have the best chance of doing that here The boss agrees and allows the blonde to work as usual If you need anything just let me know Well a few hours pass and the boss decides to check on the blonde He looks out over his office and sees the blonde hysterically crying He rushes out to her asking What`s so bad now are you gonna be ok?? No exclaims the blonde I just got a call from my sister She told me that HER mom died too

Three blondes are sitting by the side of a river holding fishing poles with the lines in the water A Game Warden comes up behind them taps them on the shoulder and says Excuse me ladies I d like to see your fishing licenses We don t have any replied the first blonde Well if your going to fish you need fishing licenses said the Game Warden But officer replied the second blonde we aren t fishing We all have magnets at the end of our lines and we re collecting debris off the bottom of the river The Game Warden lifted up all the lines and sure enough there were horseshoe magnets tied on the end of each line Well I know of no law against it said the Game Warden take all the debris you want and with that the Game Warden left As soon as the Game Warden was out of sight the three blondes started laughing hysterically What a dumb Fish Cop the second blonde said to the other two doesn t he know that there are steelhead trout in this river?

A blonde decides to try horseback riding even though she has had no lessons or prior experience She mounts the horse unassisted and the horse immediately springs into motion It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle In terror she grabs for the horse’s mane but cannot seem to get a frim grip She tries to throw her arms around the horse’s neck but she slides down the side of the horse anyway The horse gallops along seemingly impervious to its slipping rider Finally giving up her frail grip she leaps away from the horse to try and throw herself to safety Unfortunately her foot has become entangled in the stirrup and she is now at the mercy of the horse’s pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground again and again As her head is battered against the ground she is mere moments away from unconsciousness when The Wal-Mart manager runs out to shut off the horse

Three blonde fishermen are sitting by the side of a river holding fishing poles with the lines in the water A Game Warden comes up behind them taps them on the shoulder and says Excuse me I d like to see your fishing licenses We don t have any replied the first fisherman Well if your going to fish you need fishing licenses said the Game Warden But officer replied the second fisherman we aren t fishing We all have magnets at the end of our lines and we re collecting debris off the bottom of the river The Game Warden lifted up all the lines and sure enough there were horseshoe magnets tied on the end of each line Well I know of no law against it said the Game Warden take all the debris you want And with that the Game Warden left As soon as the Game Warden was out of sight the three fishermen started laughing hysterically What a dumb Fish Cop the fisherman said to the other two Doesn t he know that there are Steelhead trout in this river?

Blonde woman was driving her car home one night when she suddenly found herself in the middle of a really bad hailstorm The hailstones were as big as golf balls and her car got dented up really bad The next day she took her car into a repair shop to have the dents examined The repairman noticing that she was blonde and quite dingy when she spoke decided to have some fun He told her to blow into the tailpipe of the car really hard when she got home as this would cause all of the dents to pop out When she got home she started blowing into the tailpipe as hard as she could over and over Just then her best friend who also is blonde showed up Her friend saw her blowing into the tailpipe and was quite startled by the action She blurted out flippantly What are you doing? The first blonde told her the repairman had instructed her to blow into the tailpipe real hard so that the dents would pop out Her girlfriend said Uh You need to roll up the windows first

A blonde Decemberides to try horseback riding even though she has had no lessons or prior experience She mounts the horse unassisted and the horse immediately springs into motion It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle In terror she grabs for the horse`s mane but cannot seem to get a firm grip She tries to throw her arms around the horse`s neck but she slides down the side of the horse anyway The horse gallops along seemingly impervious to its slipping rider Finally giving up her frail grip the blonde attempts to leap away from the horse and throw herself to safety Unfortunately her foot has become entangled in the stirrup and she is now at the mercy of the horse`s pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground over and over As her head is battered against the ground she is mere moments away from unconsciousness when to her great fortune Frank the Wal-Mart greeter sees her and unplugs the horse

A blonde enters a restaurant and goes straight to the bulletin board in the back On the board she sees a piece of paper that reads Ocean Cruise - Only 10 She pulls the piece of paper from the board and goes to the address listed on the back of it She enters the building and hands the paper to the secretary who nods and asks the blonde if she has ten dollars The blonde takes five dollars from her purse and gives it to the secretary The secretary then looks over to a burly guy reading a newspaper and nods to him He stands up walks over to the blonde and knocks her unconscious When she wakes up she finds that she s tied to a log and is floating down the river She starts to think that maybe this wasn t such a good idea All of a sudden she sees one of her blonde friends tied to a log floating right next to her So do you think they re going to serve us some food on this trip? the blonde asks her friend They didn t serve any last year her blonde friend replies