A Boyfriend sends a message to his girlfriend on WhatsApp Boyfriend - Hi Girlfriend - Hello Boyfriend - Kahan par ho? Girlfriend: Main apne papa ki BMW mein club ja rahi hun abhi driver mujhe club chor dega uske baad mall mein shopping ke liye jaungi tab tumhe call karti hun tum kahan par ho? Boyfriend: 401 no ki bus mein TUMHARI SEAT SE 2 SEATS PEECHE TUM TICKET MAT LENA Maine Le Li hai
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Ek Wife Ne Subah Uthte Hi Apne Pati Ko Pankhe Se Rassi Baandhte Dekha Toh Ghabrakar Pucha: Arey Yeh Aap Kya Kar Rahe Ho??? Husband Ne Dukhi Swar Mein Kaha: Mein Teri Roz Roz ki Naye Kapde Dilaane Ki Pharmaish Se Tang Aa Gaya Hun Isliye Suicide Kar Raha Hun Ye Sunte Hi Wife Ne Zor Zor Se Rona Start Kar Diya Aur Boli: Jaatey Jaatey Ek White Suit Toh Dilwa Do Varna Terahvin Pe Kya Pehanungi????
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Daru ki vajah se barbaad hue ek sharabi ne kasam li aur ghar se daru ki khali bottles phainkne laga 1st bottle phainkte hue bola: Teri vajah se meri naukri gayi 2nd bottle phainkte hue bola: Teri vajah se mera ghar bik gaya 3rd phainkte hue bola: Teri vajah se meri biwi chali gayi Jab usne 4th bottle uthaai toh woh bhari hui nikli Sharaabi us bottle ko utha ke bola: Tu side mein hoja pagli tu to bekasur hai
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Father apne bete se: Agar iss baar tum exam mein fail hue toh mujhe kabhi papa mat kehna Exams ke kuch dinon ke baad jab result aaya tab baap ne bete ko apne room mein bualaya Father: How is your result? Beta kuch nahin bolta aur chup-chaap sir jhukaye khada rehta hai Father: Behre ho gye ho kya? Maine pucha ki result kaisa raha tumhara? Beta: Arre dimag ka dahi mat kar BABULAL tum baap hone ka haq kho chuke ho
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Chhote: Akshay Kumar bahut bada star hai na? Bade: Haan hai toh Chhote: But uski wife itni badi star nahi hai jyada chali nahin Bade: Nahin yaar chali hai wo bhi but uski shaadi ho gayi na Chhote: Nahin wo baat nahin hai sabko pata hai Bade: Kisko pata hai? Chhote: Bachhe bachhe tak ko pata hai ki wo nahi chali wo ek choti star hai Bade: Wo kaise? Chhote: Abe tune wo poem nahi suni? Twinkle-Twinkle little star Bade: Bakwas Band Ka
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EK shaitaani Chudel ne 60 saal ke husband wife se kaha: Main tum dono ki ek ek wish puri kar sakti hun Wife: Main apne pati ke saath saari duniya ghoomna chaahti hun Chudel ne chutki bajayi aur 2 tickets aa gaye Phir husband se poochha: Tum bolo kya chaahte ho?? Husband: Mujhe apne se 30 saal chhoti wife chaahiye Chudel ne chutki bajayi aur husband ko 90 saal ka kar dia Moral: Aadmi ko yaad rakhna chaahiye ke Chudel bhi aurat hi hoti hai
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Teacher: Happy New Year bachchon Aaj se 2014 start ho raha hai Is naye saal pe kasam khao ki kabhi bhi sharaab aur cigarette nahin piyoge drugs nahin loge non veg nahin khaoge Bachche: Theek hai sir hum sharaab cigarette drugs non veg ko chuenge tak nahin Teacher: Kabhi ladkiyaan nahin chedoge Bachche: Nahin chedenge sir Teacher: Kabhi jua nahin kheloge Bachche: Nahin khelenge sir Teacher: Desh ke liye apni jaan tak bhi de denge Bachche: De denge sir aisi jaan ka karna bhi kya hai
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Boy: Mom Aaj Khaane Mein Kya Banaya Hai Mom: Baigan Ki Sabji Boy: Kya Mom Phir Baigan Ki Sabji? Aapko Toh Pata Hai Ki Mujhe Baigan Bilkul Achche Nahin Lagte Mom: Ye Sab Nakhre Apni Bivi Ke Samne Karna Tab Toh Munh Se Ek Shabad Nahin Niklega Jo Vo Banaygi Chup Chaap Kha Loge Boy: Ok Lao Baigan Hi Khata Hu After Marriage Boy: Aaj Khane Mein Kya Bana Hai Darling? Wife: Baigan Ki Sabzi Boy: Kya??? Baigan Ki Sabzi Wife: Ye Nakhre Na Apni Maa Ke Saamne Kiya Karo Tab Toh Kuch Bola Nahi Jaata Boy: Achcha Lao De Do Baigan Ki Sabzi Bechaare Ladke
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Pehle main bahut dukhi rehta tha Hamesha rota rehta tha Mujhse kaam nahin ho pata tha Gharwalon ke taane sun ke ro diya karta tha Phir maine is naye product ke baare mein suna jiska naam tha WIFE Ye Wife vakai lajwaab hai Ab mein apni puri neend 2-3 ghante mein hi puri kar leta hun Duniya bhar ke taane aur gaaliyaan hass hass ke sun leta hun Kitni bhi musibat aaye khush rehta hun Dukh-Sukh ki tensions se upar uth gaya hun Swarg-Narak sab yahin hain ab ye bhi samaj aa gaya hai Ab toh dushmanon se pyaar ho gaya hai Sach mein ye WIFE vakai asardaar hai Always keep your wife s picture as mobile screensaver Whenever you face a problem see the picture say If I can handle this I can handle anything
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Santa Apni Wife Ke Saath Ek Party Mein Gaya Thodi Der Ke Baad Wife Ne Dekha Ki Santa Ek Sundar Si Mahila Se Bahut Ghul-Milkar Muskuraate Hue Baatein Kar Rahaa Thaa Wife Ne Dheere Se Santa Ke Kaan Mein Jaakar Kaha: Lautate Samay Kisi Medical Store Se Hote Hue Chalenge Santa: Kyon ? Kya Lena Hai ? Wife: Marham-Patti Kaa Saamaan Santa: Par Kis Liye ? Wife: Ghar Pahunch Kar Tumhaari Choton Par Lagaane Ke Liye Santa: Par Mujhe Toh Koi Chot Nahin Lagi Hai Wife: Abhi Hum Ghar bhi Kahaan Pahunche Hain Ek Baar Santa Ne Socha Ki Apni Wife Ko Ek Surprise Diya Jaye Toh Usne Wife Ko Bina Bataye Nayi Car Khareed Li Ghar Pahunchte Hi Santa Ne Excitement Ke Maare Darwaaje Se Hi Awaaj Laga Di: Yaar Sunti Ho Aaj Tumhaara Barson Ka Sapna Poora Ho Gaya Biwi Daudti Hui Kitchen Se Bahar Aayi Aur Shock Mein Chillai: Haye Haye Kya Ho Gaya Saasu Maa ko????? Santa Apni Wife Ko Cherte Huye Bola: Maine Tumhe Bina Dekhe Shadi Ki Can you believe that? Wife: Aur Meri Himmat Toh Dekho Maine Tumhe Dekhne Ke Baad Bhi Tumse Shadi Ki Santa Ki Wife Ne Ambulance Ke Liye Phone Kiya Operator Ne Pucha: Madam Kya Takleef Hai Aapko? Santa s Wife: Vo Table Ki Thokar Se Mere Pair Ki Ungli Mein Thodi Si Lag Gayi Hai Operator: Ye Kya Mazaak Hai Madam Itni Choti Si Baat Ke Liye Bhi Koi Ambulance Bulaata Hai??? Santa s Wife: Nahin Bhaisaab Ambulance Mujhe Apne Liye Nahin Apne Husband Ke Liye Chahiye Vo Darasal Jab Mujhe Lagi Toh Unki Hasi Nikal Gayi Thi
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3 Idiots Part 2 Rancho: Smiling Teacher: Aap Muskura Kyon Rahe Ho? Rancho: Bahut Dino Se Facebook Mein Account Banane Ki Ichha Thi Aaj Bana Diya Hai Bahut Maza Aa Raha Hai Teacher: Zyada Maza Lene Ki Zarurat Nahi Hai Tell Me What is a Post? Rancho: Anything that is posted on Facebook is a Post Sir Teacher: Can you please elaborate? Rancho: Sir Jo Bhi Facebook Pe Log Daalte Hain Post Hai Sir Ghumne Gaye Photo Daal Diya Post Hai Sir Match Dekha Score Daal Diya Post hai Sir Sir Actually Hum Posts Se Ghire Hue Hain Sir Katrina Ki Pic Se Ronaldo Ki Kick Tak Sab Post Hai Sir Ek Second Mein Comment Ek Second Mein Like Comment-Like Comment-Like Teacher: Shut up Account Banake Ye Karoge? Comment-Like Comment-Like ? Haan Chatur Tum Batao Chatur: Pictures texts or videos posted through mobile or tablet or laptop or desktop via different operating systems using internet on Facebook is called a Post Teacher: Excellent Rancho: Par Sir Maine Bhi To Wahi Bola Seedhe Shabdo Mein Teacher: Seedhe Shabdo Mein Karna Hai To Orkut Ya Twitter Ke Pages Pe Account Banao Rancho: Par Sir Dusre Sites Bhi To Teacher: Get out Rancho: Why sir? Teacher: Seedhe Shabdo Mein Bahar Jaiye Rancho goes out and comes back Teacher: Kya Hua? Rancho: Kuch Bhool Geya Tha Sir Teacher: Kya? Rancho: A utility button given to us to protect our private data i e pictures messages or personal information for being stolen or used for bad purpose by hackers or anyone else Teacher: Arre Kehna Kya Chahte Ho? Rancho: Logout Sir Logout Karna Bhool Geya Tha Teacher: To Seedha Seedha Nahi Bol Sakte The? Rancho: Thodi Der Pehle Try Kiya Tha Sir Aapko Pasand Nahi Aaya
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Washing powder Nirma Washing powder Nirma Doodh si safedi Nirma se Aaye Rangeen kapde bhi Khil khil jaaye Sabki pasand Nirma Washing powder Nirma Kuch bhi Post karo log padhte zarur hain Woh bhi tune ke saath
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Shadi mein juta chupai ke time dulhe ki ek saali boli: Jijaji main to 1100 lungi Second saali: Jijaji 1100 se kaam nahin chalega main toh 2100 hi lungi Peeche se Santa bola: 2310 le lo usmein bluetooth aur FM bhi aata hai
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Agar tum sab ne 2-2 ande nahi diye to tum sub ko kaat dunga Agli subah sab ne 2-2 ande diye magar 1 ne 1 anda diya Malik: Tum ne 1 anda kyun diya Usne kaha abe kaminey woh toh katne ke darr se de diya warna main toh Murga hun
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Wife saw a board outside a shop Diwali Offer Ending Today: Banarsi Saree Rs 10 Only Nylon Rs 8 only Cotton Saree Rs 5 only Excited Wife to Husband : Give me Rs 500 I ll buy 50 sarees Husband: Beerbal ki maa istri ki dukan hai woh
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