A Texan walks into a pharmacy and wanders up and down the aisles The salesgirl notices him and asks him if she can help him He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife She directs him down the correct aisle A few minutes later he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of string on the counter She says confused Sir I thought you were looking for tampons for your wife? The Texan answers You see it`s like this Yesterday I sent my wife to the store to get me a carton of cigarettes and she came home with a tin of tobacco and some rolling paper So hell I figure that if I have to roll my own so can she

George went over to his fiancee s house and sadly told his girlfriend the wedding was off He was going to marry another woman His girlfriend was distraught She asked How can you choose another woman over me? Is she a better cook? Not on her best days she can t match your everyday cooking Does she buy you gifts like I do the electronic toys that please men so much ? She can t buy me anything She has no job and no money Then she must be beautiful and hotter Is she that much better than me? No you are fantastic Then what can this woman possibly do better than me that you want to marry her? She can sue me for child support

Joe was a single guy living at home with his father and working in the family business When he found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died he decided he needed a wife with which to share his fortune One evening at an investment meeting he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen Her natural beauty took his breath away I may look like just an ordinary man he said to her but in just a few years my father will die and I ll inherit 20 million dollars Impressed the woman obtained his business card and three days later she became his stepmother Women are so much better at estate planning than men

The woman`s husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day One day when he came to he motioned for her to come nearer As she sat by him he whispered eyes full of tears You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times When I got fired you were there to support me When my business failed you were there When I got shot you were by my side When we lost the house you stayed right here When my health started failing you were still by my side You know what? What dear? She gently asked smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth I think you`re bad luck

Hi Uncle Tom I am a lady aged 26 I left my husband with the maid and my baby at home I drove for just about 2 km from home my car engine started to overheat so I had to turn back to get another car when I got home I found my husband in bed with our maid I don t know what to do now please help me From Anonymous Uncle Tom s Reply: Dear Anonymous Over heating of the engine after such short distance can be caused by problems associated with the radiator you need to check the oil and water level in your engine before you start your journey you must also make sure your car is serviced regularly to avoid problems in future hope this helps

शादी में दुल्हन का x-boyfriend भी आया था
दुल्हन का बाप:आप कौन है
Boy :जी मै सेमिफ़ाईनल में बाहर हो गया था फाइनल देखने आया हूँ

A young lady visited a computer dating service and requested I m looking for a spouse Can you please help me to find a suitable one? The matchmaker said What exactly are you looking for? Well let me see Needs to be good looking polite humorous sporty knowledgeable good at singing and dancing Willing to accompany me the whole day at home during my leisure hour if I don t go out Be able to tell me interesting stories when I need a companion for conversation and be silent when I want to rest The matchmaker entered the information into the computer and in a matter of moments handed the result to the woman The result read Buy a television

A man comes home from an exhausting day at work plops down on the couch in front of the television and tells his wife Get me a beer before it starts The wife sighs and gets him a beer Fifteen minutes later he says Get me another beer before it starts She looks cross but fetches another beer and slams it down next to him He finishes that beer and a few minutes later says Quick get me another beer it s going to start any minute The wife is furious She yells at him Is that all you re going to do tonight? Drink beer and sit in front of that TV? You re nothing but a lazy drunken fat slob and furthermore The man sighs and says It s started

But Fred died recently His will provided 30 000 for an elaborate funeral As the last guests departed the affair his wife Helen turned to her oldest friend Jody and says Well I m sure Fred would be pleased I m sure you re right replied Jody who lowered her voice and leaned in close How much did this really cost? All of it? said Helen Thirty thousand Really? Jody exclaimed I mean it was very nice but 30 000? Helen answered The funeral was 6 500 I donated 500 to the church The wake food and drinks were another 500 The rest went for the memorial stone Jody says 22 500 for a memorial stone? My goodness how big is it ? Two and a half carats

A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly departed mother and started back toward his car when his attention was diverted to another man kneeling at a grave The man seemed to be praying with profound intensity almost crazy and kept repeating Why did you have to die? Why did you have to die? Why did you have to die? Why did you have to The first man approached him and said Sir I don’t wish to interfere with your private grief but this demonstration of pain is more than I’ve ever seen before For whom do you mourn so deeply? A child? A parent? The mourner took a moment to collect himself then replied My wife`s first husband

Love is holding hands in the street Marriage is holding arguments in the street Love is dinner for 2 in your favourite restaurant Marriage is a take home packet Love is watching movie on a sofa Marriage is one of them sleeping on a sofa Love is talking about having children Marriage is talking about getting away from children Love is going to bed early Marriage is going to sleep early Love is losing your appetite Marriage is losing your figure TV has no place in love Marriage is a fight for remote control Love is 1 drink and 2 straws Marriage is Don t you think you ve had enough Conclusion: Love is blind Marriage is an eye opene

A man was walking in the street when he heard a voice: Stop Stand still If you take one more step a brick will fall down on your head and kill you The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him The man was astonished He went on and after awhile he was going to cross the road Once again the voice shouted Stop Stand still If you take one more step a car will run over you and you will die The man did as he was instructed just as a car came careening around the corner barely missing him Where are you? the man asked Who are you? I am your guardian angel the voice answered Oh yeah? the man asked And where were you when I got married?

A man was walking in the street when he heard a voice: Stop Stand still If you take one more step a brick will fall down on your head and kill you The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him The man was astonished He went on and after awhile he was going to cross the road Once again the voice shouted: Stop Stand still If you take one more step a car will run over you and you will die The man did as he was instructed just as a car came careening around the corner barely missing him Where are you? the man asked Who are you? I am your guardian angel the voice answered Oh yeah? the man asked And where were you when I got married?

A man wanted to determine if both his wife and mistress were faithful to him So he decided to send them on the same cruise then later question each one on the other s behavior When his wife returned he asked her about the people on the trip in general then casually asked her about the specific behavior of the passenger he knew to be his mistress She flirt with nearly every man on the ship his wife reported The disheartened man then rendezvoused with his cheating mistress to ask her the same questions about his wife She was a real lady his mistress said How so? the encouraged man asked She came on board with her husband and never left his side

Standing at the edge of a lake a man saw a woman flailing about in the deep water Unable to swim the man screamed for help A trout fisherman ran up The man said My wife is drowning and I can t swim Please save her I ll give you a hundred dollars The fisherman dove into the water In ten powerful strokes he reached the woman put his arm around her and swam back to shore Depositing her at the feet of the man the fisherman said Okay where s my hundred? The man said Look when I saw her going down for the third time I thought it was my wife But this is my mother-in-law The fisherman reached into his pocket and said Just my luck How much do I owe you?