A father passing by his son s bedroom was astonished to see that his bed was nicely made and everything was picked up Then he saw an envelope propped up prominently on the pillow that was addressed to Dad With the worst premonition he opened the envelope with trembling hands and read the letter Dear Dad: It is with great regret and sorrow that I m writing you I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice But I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercing tattoos tight motorcycle clothes and the fact that she is much older than I am But it s not only the passion Dad she s pregnant Stacy said that we will be very happy She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter We share a dream of having many more children Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn t really hurt anyone We ll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy In the meantime we will pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Stacy can get better She deserves it Don t worry Dad I m 16 and I know how to take care of myself Someday I m sure that we will be back to visit so that you can get to know your grandchildren Love Your Son JohnNY PS Dad none of the above is true I m over at Andy s house I Just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than a Report card that s in my center desk drawer I love you and let me know when it s safe to come home

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