How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?

Never ask a barber if he thinks you need a haircut

Wear short sleeves Support your right to bare arms

I know karate kung fu and 47 other dangerous words

Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics

Whose idea was it to put an `S` in the word `lisp`?

Hard work has a future payoff Laziness pays off now

The best way to prevent a hangover is to stay drunk

I even have boring dreams I fall asleep in my sleep

When words fail a boot to the ass may be sufficient

A Tattoo is a permanent proof of temporary insanity

Always glad to share my ignorance - I ve got plenty

Strange that psychics have to ask you for your name

If you`re too open-minded your brains will fall out

When a wise man argues with a woman he says nothing