The govt is expanding to meet the needs of an expanding govt

NO woman has ever shot a man while he was washing the dishes

Don t upset me; I m running out of places to hide the bodies

My girlfriend called me lazy yesterday; and I almost replied

I love cooking with wine Sometimes I even put it in the food

If swimming s such good exercise how come whales are so fat?

An unfortunate person is one tries to fart but shits instead

Smile and the world smiles with you Fart and you stand alone

Roses are red violets are blue I m schizophrenic and so am I

Once a month women go completely crazy for about thirty days

Ninety percent of being smart is knowing what you re dumb at

I asked her for some space she got me an external hard drive

Middle age is when it takes longer to rest than to get tired

Men also have feelings for example even they can feel hungry

It s OK to let a fool kiss you but don t let a kiss fool you