A woman is a person who reaches for a chair when the phone rings

A man can be happy with any woman as long as he doesn t love he

Why can t I attract men like crazy instead of attract crazy men?

We live in an age when pizza gets to your home before the police

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

I m multi-talented: I can talk and piss you off at the same time

A man gets what he wants by acting smart; a woman by playing dum

We always hear IntelliGENTS ; Have you ever heard IntelliLADIES ?

Misers aren t much fun to live with but they make great ancestors

Having one child makes you a parent; Having two you are a referee

Having one child makes you a parent; having two you are a referee

Criminal is no different from the rest except that he gets caught

If you look like your passport picture you probably need the trip

Accept that some days you are the pigeon and some days the statue

No matter how bad your kid is he s still good for a tax exemption