A man does not look behind the door unless he has stood there himself

Religion is popular because it makes you feel good about being stupid

An atheists worst moment is being truly grateful with no one to thank

Do you believe in helping the homeless? [If yes] Take me home with you

If you do what you ve always done you ll get what you ve always gotten

When you re arguing with a fool make sure he isn t doing the same thing

The best automobile safety device is a rearview mirror with a cop in it

You can fool some of the people some of the time and that is sufficient

Perseverance is not a long race it is many short races one after anothe

Stupidity is a personal achievement which transcends national boundaries

Smile and the world smiles with you Frown and you get credit for thinking

Among animals it s eat or be eaten Among people it s define or be defined

How come the bullets that work are fired the ones that don t work are not?

I`m responsible for what I say I am not responsible for what you understand

If you must choose between two evils pick the one you`ve never tried before