I get plenty of exercise-jumping to conclusions pushing my luck and dodging deadlines

The first one to see the traffic light turn green is the driver of the second car back

Skill is successfully walking a tightrope over Niagara Falls Intelligence is not trying

An egotist is one who can hardly wait to hear what he s going to say about himself next

Too many people are cheerful givers only when they get a chance to hand out free advice

The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your action

An Abstainer is a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure

There are two kinds of fishermen: those who fish for sport and those who catch something

Never argue with an idiot They drag you down to their level then beat you with experience

Here is a test to find whether your mission on earth is finished: if you re alive it isn t

In theory there is no difference between theory and practice; In practice however there is

The reason there are two senators for each state is so that one can be the designated drive

U can t win a woman just the once be done with it; you have to humiliate yourself again again

Law of Murphy - Everything that can go wrong goes wrong sooner or later Murphy was an optimist

Wise men talk because they have something to say Fools talk because they have to say something