People are not afraid of how bad you are they are afraid of how good you are

I was going to procrastinate today but I think I ll leave that until tomorrow

We could all take a lesson from the weather It pays no attention to criticism

Ulcers aren t the result of what you eat You get ulcers from what s eating you

How come the bullets that work are fired and the ones that don t work are not?

If a tin whistle is made out of tin then what exactly is a foghorn made out of?

Old age is like a burglar It robs you of all the goodies and leaves the rubbish

The only people who find what they are looking for in life are the fault finders

We all know it isn t human to be perfect and too many of us take advantage of it

It is bad enough that people are dying of AIDS but no one should die of ignorance

Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places

Some of us learn from the mistakes of others; the rest of us have to be the others

Freedom of speech is wonderful - it s right up there with the freedom not to listen

Living on Earth may be expensive but it includes an annual free trip around the sun

The smile on your face is the light in the window that tells people you are at home