Santa calls up the doc at 2 AM Doc my wife is having severe abdomen pain I think it s her appendix What nonsense says the doc sleepily I took out your wife s appendix two years ago Go back to sleep Five minutes later the phone rings and it s Santa again Doc I m sure it s her appendix Oh God the doctor groaned Did you ever hear of anyone having a second appendix? No says Santa But I m sure you must have heard of someone having a second wife
Santa`s wife gave birth to their fourth child He is to get the child`s birth registered at the Registrar of births and Deaths He is given the requiste form to fill He fills data in the form as under: Mother: Indian Father: Indian Child: Chinese How come you write Chinese when both parents are Indians? the clerk at the Office asks Aah Santa reads newspaper everyday I read only the other day that every 4th person born on the Earth now is Chinese
Taking his seat in his chambers the judge faced the opposing lawyers Santa and Banta So he said I have been presented by both of you with a bribe Both Santa and Banta squirmed uncomfortably You advocate Santa gave me Rs 60 000 And you advocate Banta gave me Rs 50 000 The judge reached into his pocket and pulled out a check He handed it to Santa and stated Now then I m returning Rs 10 000 and we re going to decide this case strictly on its merits
The wives of two politicians(Santa Banta) were having a bitter quarrel `Your husband is corrupt and foolish He was caught red-handed accepting the bribe ``Absolute bakwaas ` yelled back the other `And who are you to talk There is an enquiry going on against your husband as well ``Sure But the enquiry against my husband is being conducted by a first class Magistrate The enquiry against your husband is being carried out by a retired government servant `
Preeto went to see a psychiatrist about her husband Santa (he wouldn t go with her) Doctor my husband has this problem Almost every night now he s dreaming he s a refrigerator My dear that is not really a problem A lot of people dream that they are somebody or something unusual Preeto leans forward as she softly whispers this confidence But you see doctor it is also a problem for me Santa sleeps with his mouth open and his little light keeps me awake
Once Banta returned home late from a booze party He was little over He put his one hand on wall and tried to put key in the hole with his other hand to open the lock But the key missed the hole He tried it so many times but every time the key missed the hole Santa was observing this for a while so he came forward to help Santa- Can I help you put the key in the hole? Banta- No I shall manage the key You just hold the wall because it is shaking too much
Dear Sir I have two questions for the lawmakers of our country: 1 If the legal age of a Man to get Sexually active is 18 years and the legal age for him to get married is 21 then what are we actually suggesting he should do these 3 years? 2 Now if the legal age for a Man to get married is 21 years and the legal age for him to start drinking is 25 years then how do you suggest he survives the first 4 years of marriage??? Any information will be appreciated
A customer arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up their car They were told that the keys had been accidentally locked in it He went to the service department and found a mechanic Mr Santa working feverishly to unlock the driver`s side door As the customer watched from the passenger`s side he instinctively tried the door handle and discovered it was open Hey he announced to the technician It`s open I know answered Santa - I already got that side
One day Santa walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink Then he asks for another After a couple more drinks the bartender gets worried What s the matter? the bartender asks That woman I call my wife and I got into a fight explained Santa and now she isn t talking to me for a whole 31 days The bartender thought about this for a while But isn t it a good thing that she isn t talking to you? asked the bartender Yeah except today is the last night
Santa visits his aunt in the nursing home It turns out that she is taking a nap so he just sits down in a chair in her room flips through a few magazines and munches on some peanuts sitting in a bowl on the table Eventually the aunt wakes up and Santa realizes that he absentmindedly finished the entire bowl I m so sorry auntie I ve eaten all of your peanuts That s okay dearie the aunt replied After I ve sucked the chocolate off I don t care for them anyway
Santa and Jeeto were preparing wedding cards for their son at the printers Jeeto was not very good at English so she asked the printer to help her After the printer had presented her with a draft she quickly pointed out that the RSVP was missing The printer was surprised by Jeeto s knowledge and asked her if she knew what it meant Jeeto started to think and after much thought he replied Vait I remember I remember RSVP It means Remember Send Vedding Present
Santa was a slow worker and found it difficult to hold down a job After a visit to the job center he was offered work at the local Zoo When he arrived for his first day the keeper aware of his reputation told him to take care of the tortoise section Later the keeper dropped by to see how Santa was getting on and found him standing by an empty enclosure Where are the tortoises? he asked him I can t believe it said Santa I just opened the door and then Whooooosh
Santa was driving through the city and his car was weaving violently all over the road An cop pulls him over and asks Where have you been? I`ve been to the pub slurs Santa Well says the cop it looks like you`ve had quite a few I did all right Santa says with a smile Did you know says the cop standing straight and folding his arms that a few intersections back your wife fell out of your car? Oh thank heavens sighs Santa For a minute there I thought I`d gone deaf
Preeto fell for her handsome new dentist like a ton of bricks and pretty soon had lured him into a series of passionate encounters in the dental clinic after hours But one day the dentist said sadly Preeto we have to stop seeing each other Your husband s bound to get suspicious No way sweetie he s dumb as a post she assured him Besides we ve been seeing each other for six months now and he doesn t suspect a thing True agreed the dentist but you re down to one tooth
Banta “All of the thrill is gone from my marriage ” Santa “Why not add some intrigue to your life and have an affair? Banta “But what if my wife finds out?” Santa “Heck this is a new age we live in Go ahead and just tell her about it ” Banta goes home to his wife and says “Preeto I think an affair will help bring us closer together ” Preeto “Forget it I’ve already tried that It didn’t work ”
