Banta after coming from work was very hungry He asked for something to eat from Preeto Preeto gave him a sandwich It did not satiate his hunger Craving for more he opened the fridge and ate the leftover chicken with 4 slices of toasted bread Still uncontended he opened the grocery cupboard and ate one biscuit He couldn`t eat any more He regretfully told his wife Preeto Had I known that biscuit would satiate my hunger I would have taken it instead of eating the sandwich and the leftovers

Santa thought he had conquered his problem of trying to remember his wife s birthday and also their anniversary He opened an account with a florist provided that florist with the dates and instructions to send flowers to Jeetoo on these dates along with an appropriate note signed Your loving husband Jeeto was thrilled by this new display of attention and all went well until one day some bouquets later when Santa came home kissed her and said offhandedly Nice flowers where d you get them?

A famous heart specialist doctor died and everyone was gathered at his funeral A regular coffin was displayed in front of a huge heart When the minister finished with the sermon and after everyone said their good-byes the heart was opened the coffin rolled inside and the heart closed Just at that moment one of the mourners started laughing The guy next to him asked Why are you laughing? I was thinking about my own funeral the man replied What s so funny about that? I m a gynecologist

Banta tripped on the stairs and broke his leg The doctor put a cast on it and warned that he wasn t to use the stairs until the cast came off The weeks later he removed the cast and pronounced him well on the way to recovery Oh good Banta responded Is it all right for me to walk the stairs now? Yes said the doctor if you promise to be careful I can t tell you what a relief it will be he sighed It was such a nuisance crawling outside and shinnying up and down that drainpipe all the time

Santa was visiting the big city for the first time He checks in at the hotel and the bell boy takes his bags He follows the boy and as the door closes he looks around and shakes his fist at him `Young man I may be from the village and unfamiliar with the city but that don`t mean I`m stupid I paid good money and this room won`t do at all It`s too small and without proper ventilation Why there`s not even a bed ` The bellboy looks at Santa and says `Sir this isn`t your room it`s the elevator `

Banta is lying across the rail tracks with a bottle of Whisky and a tandoori chicken within reach A passerby asks Banta ji why are you lying on the rail lines? A train may comee any moment and run over you Precisely answers Banta I have no desire to live any longer I want to kill myself Then why have you this bottle of liquor and the tandoori chicken beside you? Why not? demands Banta You can t rely on trains running on time any more You don t expect me to die of hunger and thirst do you?

Banta`s friend from a foreign country visited India for the first time He asked Banta tips for safe driving on the Indian roads as he wished to proceed on a sight-seeing tour in his own car Banta advised: `While driving if you come across a roadways bus just slow down and let it pass If a truck approaches you pull your vehicle to the side and start again only when it has passed But if you see a Fauji truck approaching you stop your car in the side track get out of it and climb a nearby tree `

Santa was delighted with the way the painter had done all the work on his house You did a great job he said and handed the man a check Also in order to thank-you here`s an extra Five hundred rupees to take the Mrs out to dinner and a movie Later that night the doorbell rang and it was the painter Thinking the painter had forgotten something Santa asked What`s the matter did you forget something? Nope replied the painter I`m just here to take your Mrs out to dinner and a movie like you asked

A bus load of politicians were driving down a country road when the bus ran off the road and crashed into a tree in our Santa`s field Santa after seeing what happened went over to investigate A few days later local cops came out looking for the missing politicians saw the crashed bus and asked Santa where all the politicians had gone Santa said I buried them all out back Inspector asked Were they ALL dead? Santa replied Well some of them said they weren`t but you know how the politicians lie

Santa and Banta landed up in Bombay They managed to get into a double-decker bus Santa somehow managed to get the seat below but unfortunate Banta got pushed to the top After a while when the rush was over Santa went upstairs to see friend Banta He met Banta in a bad condition clutching the seats in front with both hands scared to death Santa enquires Banta What the heck`s going on? Why are you so scared? I was enjoying my ride down there Scared Banta replies Yeah but you have got a *driver *

Santa is sitting at the end of a bar He sees a lamp at the end of the table He walks down to it and rubs it Out pops a genie It says “I will give you three wishes ” Santa thinks awhile Finally he says “I want a beer that never is empty ” With that the genie makes a poof sound and on the bar is a bottle of beer Santa starts drinking it and right before it is gone it starts to refill The genie asks about his next two wishes Santa says “I want two more of these ”

Santa observed a sign in the window of a restaurant that read Unique Breakfast so he walked in and sat down The waitress brought him his coffee and asked him what he wanted Santa: What`s your `Unique Breakfast?` Waitress Baked tongue of chicken Santa: Baked tongue of chicken? Do you have any idea how disgusting that is? I would never even consider eating anything that came out of a chicken`s mouth Undaunted the waitress asked What would you like then? Just bring me scrambled eggs the man replied

Santa and Banta are visting London for the first time They see a sign reading Suits Pound 15 Shirts Pound 2 Trousers Pound 3 Wow says Banta we should snap up some of these bargains and sell them at a profit when we get home Santa agrees and they go into the shop Twenty suits 50 shirts and 30 pairs of trousers please says Santa to the assitant behind the counter You`re not from around here are you? said the assistant No answered Banta How did you know? The assistant replies This is a dry cleaners

Banta in a very maross mood tells Santa that his buffalo is ill He enquires from Santa that wasn`t his buffalo also down with the same illness last year? Santa replies in the affirmative Banta asks for the medication used by Santa Santa tells him that he gave 250 gms of opium to it Banta goes home and gives 250 gms of opium to his ailing buffalo The next day he met Santa and told him that his buffalo died Santa tells Banta that it isn`t surprising because even his buffalo died after taking the opium

Santa realized he needed to purchase a hearing aid but he felt unwilling to spend much money How much do they run? he asked the clerk That depends said the salesman They run from Rs 20 to Rs 2 000 Let`s see the Rs 20 model he said The clerk put the device around Santa`s neck You just stick this button in your ear and run this little string down to your pocket he instructed How does it work? Santa asked For Rs 20 it doesn`t work the salesman replied But when people see it on you they`ll talk loude