Pappu Santa s son accidentally overturned his wagon load of corn The farmer who lived nearby heard the noise Hey Pappu the farmer yelled Forget your troubles Come in with us Then I ll help you get the wagon up That s mighty nice of you Pappu answered but I don t think my father would like me to Aw come on the farmer insisted Well okay he finally agreed and added But my father won t like it After a hearty lunch Pappu thanked his host I feel a lot better now but I know dad is going to be real upset Don t be foolish the farmer said with a smile By the way where is he? Under the wagon

Once Santa kept having the same weird dream everynight so he went to a doctor Doctor: What was your dream about? Santa: I was being chased by a vampire Doctor: (giggles quitely) So what is the scenery like? Santa: I was running in a hall way Doctor: Then what happened? Santa: Well that s the weird thing In every single dream the same thing happened I always come to this door but I can t open it I keep pushing the door and pushing the door but it wouldn t budge Doctor: Does the door have any letters on it? Santa: Yes it did Doctor: And what did these letter spell? Santa: It said Pull

Walking up to a department store`s fabric counter a pretty girl asked I want to buy this material for a new dress How much does it cost? Only one kiss per meter madam replied Banta (clerk) That`s fine replied the girl I`ll take five meters Five meters only? asked Banta Hmmmmm girl thinks for a moment and said Ok give me ten meters With expectation and anticipation written all over his face Banta hurriedly measured out and wrapped the cloth then held it out teasingly The girl snapped up the package and pointed to a little old man standing beside her Grandpa will pay the bill she smiled

Santa a big-game hunter went on safari with his wife Jeeto and mother-in-law One evening while still deep in the jungle Jeeeto awoke to find her mother gone Rushing to Santa she insisted on them both trying to find her mother Santa picked up his rifle took a swig of whiskey and started to look for her In a clearing not far from the camp they came upon a chilling sight: the mother-in-law was backed up against a thick impenetrable bush and a large male lion stood facing her Jeeto cried What are we going to do? Nothing said Santa The lion got himself into this mess let him get himself out of it

Jeeto phoned Santa at work as usual for a chat Santa said Jeeto darling I am terribly busy today can you call me back later today perhaps Jeeto But sweetheart I have a good news and I have a bad news to give to you Santa Darling I do not have time so why don t you give me the good news now and when I come back home in the evening then give me the bad news this way I can focus here and do not spoil my work Jeeto OK dear The good news is the Air bag of our brand new Lexus works I got my life saved And when you come back home in the evening I will give you the bad news And then Jeeto hung up

Santa was traveling in a train The ticket collector came and asked him to show his ticket Santa politely asked Which one should I show the one in my right pocket or the one in my left pocket? The T C was taken aback He then said Show me the ticket in your right pocket Santa promptly showed the ticket It was perfectly in order The T C then asked for the reason for buying two tickets Santa explained If someone picks one pocket then I have the other ticket left The T C asked again Suppose someone picks both your pockets what happens? Santa said with a smile I have a concessional monthly pass also

Santa the biology teacher called on Neha Can you tell me the part of the body that under the right conditions expands to six times it`s normal size and state the conditions Neha gasped and said in a huff Why Sir ? That is an inappropriate question and my parents are going to hear of it when I get home She sat down red-faced Sunita can you tell me the answer? asked Santa The pupil of the eye under dark conditions said Sunita Correct Now Neha I have three things to say to you First you have not studied your lesson Second you have a dirty mind And third you are going to be disappointed someday

Santa: You ve got to fix my computer I urgently need to print a document but the computer won t boot properly Tech Support: What does it say? Santa: Something about an error and non-system disk Tech Support: Look at your machine Is there a floppy inside? Santa: No but there s a sticker saying there s an Intel inside How do I get that one out? Tech Support: It s actually fairly easy if you had the IQ upgraded lately Have you had that done? Santa: No I don t think so I m always one of the last to get the new stuff Tech Support: OK then go tell your manager that I said you qualify for an IQ upgrade

Santa and his son were visiting America for the very first time Santa was at a Local Food store going up and down the aisles with his son Santa asked What is this?? Santa`s son Powdered orange juice Santa Powdered orange juice?? Son: Yeah Dad You just add a little water and you have fresh orange juice A few minutes later in a different aisle Santa asked again And what is this?? Son Powdered milk Santa Powdered milk?? Son: Yeah Dad You just add a little water and you have fresh milk A few minutes later in a different aisle Santa And give a look here Baby Powder What a country What a country

Santa came home earlier than usual when his wife Jeeto s lover was still in the apartment She hid her lover in a closet and served dinner As they ate something rustled in the closet What s that? Santa husband asked Nothing darling Just jackets After a while they again heard some noise in the closet What the hell is that? I m telling you just jackets A few minutes later the noise sounded once more I ll check it Santa said You ll regret it if it s not jackets Santa yanked the closet s door open Inside he saw a man who held a pistol Santa quietly closed the door and said Indeed jackets darling

Banta sets up Santa to go on a blind date with a friend of his But Santa is a little worried about going out with someone he s never seen before What do I do if she s ugly? says Santa I ll be stuck with her all night Don t worry Banta says just go up to her door and meet her first If you like what you see then everything goes as planned If you don t just shout Aaaaaaaaauuuuuuuggghhh and fake an asthma attack So that night Santa knocks at the girl s door and when she comes out he is awe-struck at how beautiful and sexy she is He s about to speak when the girl suddenly shouts: Aaaaaaaaaaauuugguuughhh

Santa in Delhi made a trunk call to his old friend in Amritsar `Banta yarr ` He said `I am in great difficulty Can you send me Rs 500? I will return them within a month ` `Hello Hello ` replied Banta `I cannot hear you The line is very faint ` Santa repeated more loudly `Send me Rs 500 I will return them soon ` I cannot hear a word ` replied Banta `you ring me another time ` The operator who was listening interrupted `The line is absolutely clear Your friend in Delhi wants you to send him Rs 500 ` Banta snapped back at the operator `If you can hear him clearly why do not you lend him Rs 500?

Santa and Banta were good hunters Santa killed only Lions Tigers and Banta killed only Deers Once Banta asked Santa How is that you only kill lions tigers and I kill only deers Tell me the trick Santa told him just go to a cave and imitate the noise of a sheep the lion comes out of the cave and shoot him then that quite easy After two months Santa got the news that Banta was in the hospital On questioning him he exclaimed that he did the same thing that he was told by Santa He went outside a big cave and imitated the noise of a sheep but he did not know that Rajdhani Express was coming out from the cave

Standing at the edge of the lake a man saw a woman flailing about in the deep water Unable to swim the man screamed for help Banta ran up The man said My wife is drowning and I can`t swim Please save her I`ll give you Rs 500 Banta dove into the water In ten powerful strokes he reached the woman put his arm around her and swam back to shore Depositing her at the feet of the man Banta said Okay where`s my Five hundred? The man said Look when I saw her going down for the third time I thought it was my wife But this is my mother-in-law Banta reached into his pocket and said Just my luck How much do I owe you?

Middle aged Santa and Jeeto were discussing life and preparing wills The conversation turned to remarriage Jeeto: If I should die first will you remarry? Santa: Probably I wouldn`t like to spend the rest of my life alone Jeeto: Would you bring your new wife into our home that we have shared? Santa: I don`t see why not It would be empty you wouldn`t be there Jeeto: Would you share the same bed we`ve shared? Santa: Well it`s a comfortable bed Jeeto: Would you let here wear my clothes? Santa: Sure if they fit They are quite nice Jeeto: Would you let her use my golf clubs? Santa: No way Preeto is left handed